taste-it

it felt like hell but i'm sure hell is a million times worse

2011-05-17T23:53:00.003+08:00

When something's coming to an end, the reality hits u so bad that u start living in the future rather than in the present. I can't seem to understand how my exchange has passed me by like a bullet train. Everything has been so wonderful yet so hard to piece together. I have fragments of memories here and there (even the insignificant details I do remember). If I could relive my exchange, I gladly would.

Today was the worst day of my exchange. I missed a whole night's sleep as I was busy puking for about 12 times the whole night and this morning. When I finally stopped, my stomach was an empty cave, I lost my ability to walk, and my hands and feet were numb without feeling. Thankfully Allison took really good care of me! She called for an ambulance which only came an hour later. The hospital staff came into my room to take my temperature and blood pressure. That's all they did. I was so angry. I expected to be sent to the hospital and to be placed on a drip.
But all they could say was that there wasn't enough space at the hospital and that they would only take me in if I was sick for 2 days. Bloody welfare state.... Apparently, many people have been hit by this virus recently. I am so unlucky to be one.

By then, I lost all confidence in myself to fight this virus. I was feverish and squirming around in pain from the tummy contractions. It sure felt like hell. I thought I was dying, especially when pictures of family and friends flashed across my mind. Soon I found myself eating this awesome medicine to cure stomach flu that Allison had bought from the nearby pharmacy. Everything was a blur. All I remember was waking up 3 hours later feeling slightly more energised and able to walk. Thank you Allison!

Last Sunday, at church, I felt a sense of assurance that God is with me. I see Christ in people's actions and behaviours and it warms my heart, for I know that God is the living God. Although I constantly ignore him in everything I do, he stays by my side and never lets go of my hand. And only in times of dire need, I turn to him and ask for mercy. And he never forsakes me, though I've often rejected him. God has blessed me with friends I don't deserve. He has walked with me all my life and it is only him that knows what's best for me. Even I am clueless about my life for I can't see the big picture he's mapped out for us all.

Valborg on the 31st of april was a crazy period in Lund. Never seen anything quite like it. 25000 people in a park partying like there's no tomorrow. U got to see it to believe it.

The trip to Ystad was peppered with rain and sun. It was a horrible feeling of hot and cold. Well, at least we perservered and managed to reach Ales Stenar (the Stonehenge lookalike). It was beautifully breathtaking!

This week's happenings: Stockholm here we come! Branboll tournament and rubbish throwing day coming soon (I don't look forward to that at all).

It has been a fruitful exchange. I do not regret the good and the bad. The bad only makes u appreciate the good more. The world is full of endless amazing possibilities and the most important takeaway is to be happy in your life.

"If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as a Michaelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, 'Here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well."
— Martin Luther King Jr.

I know everything will be fine with me, myself and time.

2011-03-28T05:18:00.003+08:00

May the coming Spring bring us a new lease of life. I guess everyone's much happier with life than they were in Winter. Picnic lunches and football games have morphed the grass patch outside my hostel to a much livlier scene. Tuesday was unusual. It was 14 degrees. Everyone ran out to get their share of warmth. But the days that followed were upsettingly cold again. People (including working professionals) were caught lazing on the benches and on the ground in the city centre. Some were desperate to get a tan from the rare sunshine. Some had ice cream although the temperature's still low.

February was truly amazing. Elvand Chongwee visited Lund and we made a trip up to Helsingborg as well! Later, I visited Elvan and Chongwee in Copenhagen. We had a ton of fun together. Visitng Christiania, walking around the city, having awesome meals, visitng the marble church, watching the changing of the guard, meeting their Polish friends, crashing their lecture, and eating their home-cooked food!

Next stop: Poland. I toured the whole of Poland from North to South. Gdansk to Warsaw to Krakow to Zakopane. Poland has some interesting history and marvellous architecture! Then, we took a 16 hour night train from Zakopane to Gdansk. Sleeping in a couchette is real fun! Warsaw before the war is Warsee! Hahaha. (inside joke)

March came so quickly and it was time to head for London with Elvan and Chongwee! This was the highlight for March. So many things happened and it would be difficult to explain it all here. We went to Chelsea football stadium, Picadilly Circus, Trafalgar Square, Covent Garden, Oxford St (numerous times), Buckingham Palace, Hyde Park, Harrods, Queen's Theatre to catch Les Miserables.. it goes on. I truly enjoyed the company! We had a few shocking incidents but always managed to solve them in time. Man, we are geniuses!

By the time I came back from London, it was time to start preparing for the exams. I had a week to finish our Starbucks case, prepare for B2B exam on Toyota and study for Biz Policy exam. I would gladly say I came out of the fight feeling victorious and feeling that I actually learnt some solid theories for real this time. The exam hall was totally different from the usual strict and dull NUS exam environment. There are 4 toilet cubicles in the hall and people actually queue up to use them. There is no hurry to do the exam cus it is 4 hours long. Some stroll in 1 hour later and are unfazed by the fact that everyone had an hour's headstart from them. People bring snacks, chocolate, including their breakfast cereal to eat before doing the paper and during the paper. The invigilator does not tell u that u can start writing. I sat there like an idiot for 5 minutes before starting on it. Many handed in blank papers because they would rather retake the exam in the next term. Some kept walking up and down as though it was a fashion parade. A phone rings and everyone turns to observe the noise and the perpetrator as though there wasn't an exam to complete. After every question, I had time to massage my hand, drink some water and look around for eyecandy. So many present. It was awesome.

Last Friday marked the end of my first term and the beginning of an exciting spring term. I went on a hiking trip to Molle, a peninsular near Helsingborg, with my church mates and we got some cracking views of the Oresund and Skaggerat seas. It was beyond scenic or breathtaking. It was heavenly. I felt like I was on top of the world and didn't want to leave. The sea breeze caressed my cheeks and made it feel like baby skin. The clouds seemed so much like cotton candy and I stretched my hand out for it. I felt so far away from home because of the difference in climate, in scenery, and in lifestyle. Things move at a slower pace in Sweden. No one is rushing off to anywhere or shoving u in a corner.

I've got a change in perspective about life. We don't have to act busy when we are not, just to feel comfortable in Singapore and just because everyone is doing so. It isn't a losing battle. It just a psychological barrier that we gotta break. This mountain we climb is never ending. Even when u think u have reached the top, u haven't. I have this urge to just stay in Sweden forever because I love the life here. But to tell the truth, I miss my family so much. They are the kind of foundation that nothing can ever provide. I miss my bestie. I wish she were here with me to experience all the same things. But I guess this is a journey I have to chart on my own, to grow up and to learn more about life.

I go where life takes me, but somedays it makes me want to change my direction
Sometimes it gets lonley, but I know that it's only a matter of my perception
I just enetered this brand new world
And I'm so open hearted
I know I've got a long way to go but I
I'm just getting started

Music drives me crazy

2011-02-13T10:17:00.002+08:00

As I write this post, the bass from the techno music blasting at 3am is making my floor vibrate and has set my heart racing at an uncomfortable pace. I don't think I can quite understand or appreciate that a party can last for 10 hours. Apart from the thursday to sunday party distrurbance, I would say Lund is a beautiful and cosy place to be.

Today, Allison and I ran around our estate but we barely lasted for 20 mins. My brain was freezing and I couldn't think straight. By the time I reached my room, all I could think of was to bundle my head with my blanket and hide under the covers. The thought of slicing my brain off and throwing it out the window popped up, but I found it physically unimaginable.

It's so great to have a student buddy! It's amazing that she wants to learn Mandarin. In turn she teaches me Swedish. I consider it a pretty good deal!

The coming weeks will certainly be fun packed. Copenhagen, Poland, London, here I come!!

2 days more to Valentine's Day! Wonder what will happen on this day in Sweden...

"It's the good girls who keep diaries. The bad girls never have the time." Me? I just wanna live a life I'm gonna remember even if I don't write it down.

The best of both worlds

2011-01-04T11:07:00.011+08:00

The page is turning for everyone.

This is my wrap up for December:

Germaine's birthday party-

Ruth and Kelvin's wedding-

Uni friends - We sang karaoke at a pub in Bugis. And Eugene was so awesome at it that my ears burst. I guess he portrayed the rocker, soulful and emo image but the voice did not accompany it. Then we tasted the food at heaven's loft which wasn't so heavenly after all. Closer to christmas, we met at Al Dente Trattoria at the esplanade. I just remember the painful long wait for the bill. It took more than half and hour. Next we went to Orgo where the seating arrangement was pretty tight but the ambience was cool.

Christmas DG Gathering

01 friends meet up at Marche

Floorballer's renuion

mer, my dear friend of 12 years!

New Year's Eve celebration-
Lacks lustre without photos to show.

New Year's Day-

my besties :)

best friend time!

ah mei :)

You just don't know it

2010-12-24T00:40:00.004+08:00

You just never know what's gonna happen next. It's this unpredictability about life that makes it so attractive. I mean, sure, it would be great if I knew what my next move was. But I don't wanna know. Cus it'll defeat the whole purpose of living.

Tuesday was spent with uni friends: Yixuan, Chongwee, Elvan, Weijie, Eugene, Wansun, Lester and Andrew. The esplanade looked so beautiful!

Yesterday, I caught up with my favourite people: Zhen, Gl, Jay, Yb, Gen. Its been about a year since I last saw them. Although IP life seem kinda distant right now, I think about it all the time. I had the time of my life there. It was peppered with so many ups and downs but I think everyone came out of it strong. Those 4 years really built us up for the future and the friendships fostered are meant to stay with us throughout our lives. I fondly remember how I spent my days at the specs stand chatting idly with the floorballers, how 05ip01 was super noisy in the corridor and how our classroom was our second home. It was a ton of fun!

I wish I could be as fit as before. We basically ran around the track everyday. Stamina was so good. I think it really contributed to our victory at nationals. And now, I feel like panting like a dog when I climb a flight of stairs. How lame. How unglam. How unfit. Uugh. I totally hate being this way. I wish to play floorball again with the floorballers. I simply love shooting at the goal. As I type this with my eyelids close to shutting me down completely, I still feel like crying when I think about everything that happened at NJ. Il me manque.

Who loves the Christmas season? Me! Cus I love the decorations all around our tiny island, i love how everyone seems to be in a more cheerful mood, i love presents and i love jesus! One should never let the commercial appeal of Christmas take away the true meaning of Christmas!

Stars will fade and mountains fall;
Christ will shine forever,
Love's unfading splendour.
Earth and heaven will bow in awe,
Joining in salvation's song.

Tell me tell me tell me something I don't know

2010-12-06T22:50:00.005+08:00

Today, we sorted some things out (can't say exactly what it is until a few weeks later). Doubt it'll help but at least we tried. Time will tell if it was worth it.

I had a couple of dreams recently. And in all of them, u appeared. For some time, I wondered what it all meant. Then I realised it when I saw u on the last day of exams. It's funny how dreams actually let u discover your feelings. And I suddenly remembered what someone said during FOC and how it was ignored and how this sem I walked into class and I realised that the guy I saw at FOC is actually u. Full circle. And I can't jump the track. Tied to one.

Anyway, Germaine's birthday party was awesome! Not only was the food great, but the company was amazing. :)

Enchanted

2010-11-03T23:52:00.004+08:00

Hard to believe that it's only 3 weeks more to finals. I wish I had Hermoine's time turner again. It's so handy and useful. Couldn't it be real?

I've been in a whirlwind lately. School's been routine, predictable, bordering on unexciting. I always imagined Uni to be the time of your life. I thought it would all pan out to be what I expected. It's alright at times but it isn't like the best time of my life. I really miss IP. And I don't care about the dissenters and cynics who tell me how IP sucks or how it ruined my life or how I have been living in a cloistered shell. I don't need all of that. I guess what keeps me going are my friends. Thanks Yixuan, Elvan, Weijie, Eugene and Wansun. I don't think u'll read this but I guess I have to thank u nonetheless. School's always different because u make them to be so. It's so fun to laugh, gossip and share with u all!

This song has been stuck in my head ever since its release. I love it simply because I can relate well to it and understand where all the emotions are coming from. I love Taylor Swift. She explains feelings with lyrics, accompanied with melodious and catchy tunes.

I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you

I don't think u know how far I've gone just to catch a glimpse of u. And even though we don't talk, sparks fly everytime u smile. I just hope that this is not in vain. Please don't be in love with someone else. Please don't have somebody waitin on u.

I really wish I could tell Huizhen and Nut about all that's happening. It's so hard to just stomach it all on my own. Often, I reminisce the past and wish it didn't change.

THAT WE MEET IN THE MIDDLE

2010-08-22T20:25:00.002+08:00

Honestly, I don't know why some of you think I've changed. I'm still the same me. I laugh at silly things that aren't funny sometimes, I enjoy sleeping during lessons, I still small and tiny, I'm just me.

Maybe I'm less talkative, maybe I just like to keep my opinions to myself more, maybe I just don't feel like talking at times. My head's filled with too many questions and emotions to bear. So whether I'm feeling really happy or down or uncomfortable, I just laugh. Don't get me wrong please.

At a time like this, I don't think I am in the right capacity to update on my holidays so far. All I know is that school has started and I should set things straight.

Thank you dear friends who've been there. Years of friendship are built to last. I LOVE YOU ALL.

This song is so dear to my heart.

Mommy you'll always and somewhere
And daddy I live outta down
So tell me how could I ever be normal somehow
You tell me this is for the best
So tell me why am I in tears
So far away and now I just need you here
So we fight through the hurt
And we cry
And we live and we learn
And we try and try and try and try

You're not the only one, who's ever felt this way.

2010-06-14T09:40:00.007+08:00

I chanced upon a documentary "Escaping North Korea" which I found ended pleasantly well yet was extremely hard to watch. A journalist follows the lives of North Korean refugees escaping North Korea by trudging through jungles, mud, rivers to stealthily get across borders which include China, Laos and Thailand. All this just to escape to South Korea, a haven of peace far away enough from North Korea's dictatorship. Along the way, the refugees fall ill, get injured and experience emotional highs and lows because should they get caught by the authorities, they will be sent back to North Korea to be executed. In them lies a hope that they will soon taste freedom to be reunited with their relatives in South Korea. Among the refugees is a grandmother and a 10 year old boy. Imagine how both of them endured this arduous journey and safely made their way to South Korea. There were other refugees (a couple with a baby) were supposed to leave North Korea one day later than this group of refugees but they weren't so lucky. They were caught and sent for execution. Such is the frailty and tragedy of life.

Next, I watched the "Secrets of the Secret Service". It gave a brief insight of what the agents are trained to do and how protected the presidential car and aircraft are. It is amazing how these agents would actually risk and sacrifice their lives for their president when faced with an assassination attempt.

Moving away from documentaries, I watched the Series Finale of Dawson's Creek and found it a real disappointment. I cannot get over the fact that Joey chose Pacey instead of Dawson. I always felt that Joey and Dawson were made for each other. They grew up together and shared an incredible amount of time together as friends and lovers. How could it be that Joey loved Pacey more? What Joey said about Dawson, 'that he's part of her childhood and that they are soulmates and nothing should ever change that' is just crap, honestly.

Last Sunday, I met up with the floorballers at Saizeriya. It's great just hanging together with old friends who complete your life in the simplest ways! We should play floorball soon!

Last but not least, I simply love 'Stay' by Nick Jonas. I could listen to it everyday and never tire of it. It is an amazing love song that gives me a warm fuzzy feeling. I don't know how to describe it. It's about 6 minutes long but you would totally get what I mean when you have a listen. I have uploaded it here. And this isn't about the fact that it is by Nick Jonas (although I am totally obsessed with him) but it really is about the song and the guitar instrumental.

Hard to believe where we are now

2010-05-07T12:10:00.010+08:00

If there's any break worth waiting for, this is it.

Lectures, tutorials, biz canteen, biz library. The very monotonous cycle is finally broken (at least for the moment). To be honest, at the beginning I didn't understand why I found this semester harder than the previous. There wasn't the crazy accounting module to deal with. Neither was there deep stuff like business law. Then, I realised I didn't like this semester because everything is so tedious. Calculations. Math. Graphs. Yuck. No no, graphing calculator may be impressive but it didn't help much. So much for statistics and cost curves.
Now, all I wanna do is just scream because I am filled with so much joy. The exam period was far too draggy for anyone.
At times, I feel suffocated. I have friends pursuing their dreams overseas, friends taking double degrees, friends getting full CAP scores or close to full and friends knowing what they want in life and as a career. I wonder why I can't be like them. I used to be on top of everything. I knew what I wanted and got what I wanted. I walked out of every exam feeling not just great but terrific. Though I studied real hard this time, and didn't do to well for my papers, I am happy that this ordeal is over. Next semester, I am going to plan my time well and enjoy the modules I will be taking which include finance and managerial accounting (I think so). Modules that don't sound appealing. Yet, I hafta psycho myself into believing they're.

So as I am enjoying my time right now, I have many other things on my mind including getting a job... but I can't wait to hang out with all my friends from different places and spaces!

I no doubt deserve my enemies, but I don't believe I deserved my friends. --- Walt Whitman

Okay, so I just had to post these. Nick Jonas has the perfect flawless face. He's so amazing as an artist and so gorgeous to look at!

Who I Am

2010-01-27T14:47:00.001+08:00

I am what I am, I'm nobody else.
So if u got a problem, better take it somewhere else.

You'll always find your way back home

2010-01-21T10:25:00.004+08:00

20 is just a number. How does being 20 taste like? Nothing much. It's bland. The transition from 19 to 20 is but an overstatement. It just means that I'm getting old and that my play time has been reduced. Oh man.

I wanna thank all my friends for their birthday wishes!

Zhen, you'll always be my bestie no matter what happens!
Nut, I will always rmb u for your funny antics, laughter and friendship.
Gimlim, thanks for crazy and normal moments! Thank you for birthday dinner last week too!
Floorballers, you've been the best team!
NUS friends, thanks for being there and making school more interesting! Thank you for celebrating my birthday on Monday at Vivocity and watching Invictus.

Ellen's hilarious! HAHAHA!

you can change your hair. you can change clothes
you can change your mind , thats just the way it goes
you can say goodbye and you can say hello
but you'll always find your way back home
you can change your style you can change your jeans
you can learn to fly and you chase your dreams
you can laugh and cry but everybody knows
you'll always find your way back home

I'm shaking it off, I'm shaking off all of the pain.

2009-12-28T12:33:00.005+08:00

Nick Jonas and The Administration

Who I Am. A cool song. Yes I love it. Playing now.

Alum J Gathering at Weijie's house
Can't remember the exact date

It was quite fun meeting everyone from our alum group of which some I didn't know existed. Anyway, it was a potluck style. The guys played some soccer video game. Playstation or xbox, I have no idea. I tried watching but I didn't really understand who was in possession of the ball (Basics that others usually know), so I gave up wondering who was winning and turned my attention to Weijie's little Chihuahua, Wishbone. It ain't so little as it looks. It's actually really old but still cute! I fed it some coco crunch look-a-like dog food and it was obedient towards me. Yes, dogs naturally love me. Hahaha! Then, I took some pics with the girls before we proceeded to Chevrons for a Karaoke Session.

Elvan's Birthday Surprise at his house
25 October

That's pretty much the last fun thing I did before diving into the books in preparation for finals.

I don't wanna dwell on how my finals went, so I'll just give u the before and after scenario.

Ipee01ers Cool Gang Meeting

7 December

Friends. Love.

Zhen! Bestie! :)

Gimlim being retarded self and ruining the picture

After finals, I met up with Zhen, Gl, Biq, Mei, Jay and Gen. It was kinda fun cus we just walked aimlessly around Suntec and Marina Square and ended up talking/gossiping/questioning each other for hours at Starbucks.

Haven't met the floorballers in ages. Time to do so.

Every Part of Me

2009-12-23T12:29:00.003+08:00

I feel like I'm a million miles away
From myself more and more these days
I've been down so many open roads
But they never lead me home
And now I just don't know
Who I really am?
How it's gonna be?
Is there something that I can't see?
I wanna understand
Maybe I will never be
Who I was before
Maybe I don't even know her anymore
Maybe who I am today
Ain't so far from yesterday
Can I find a way to be
Every part of me?

It's been a great year. I wouldn't wanna exchange it for anything. I've had my share of ups and downs, the people who are always by my side and those that disappoint me. But it's the bad days that allow me to appreciate the good ones that come along ever so subtly.

I guess I've been so used to having others around me. Huizhen will always be there to remind me about everything in school, pushing me on when I felt like giving up. The floorballers always brought cheer into my life. My ip friends were sturdy and strong, unselfish and caring. We were hardly competitive. We were happy for another's joy, no rivalry, just one big happy family. I don't think I could ever experience that again. The IP people are so open and hardly judgmental. It's sad that those 4 years have slipped us by. If only we could capture them for replays.

Now, I'm tired of looking for eyecandies and heartbreakers. I'm searching for something more in my life. Sem 1 is over. Sem 2's gonna be better for sure!

I wanna disappear

2009-10-29T16:20:00.006+08:00

hello I'm back after months.

Uni life's fun but pretty stressful. So here's what happened.

O WEEK
mata clan, chaota OG at Sentosa

JAM AND HOP @ Zouk

MASQUERADE at some ulu factory in Toa Payoh

Mer's Birthday Party Surprise and Farewell
IFG Bizad Floorball. (we got third!)
ALUM GROUP GATHERING @ Weijie's House

I don't have other pictures :( Maureen also organised a tennis cum basketball session 2 weeks ago!

Last Friday, Yixuan and I took part in the Tata Crucible Campus Quiz at The Rock Auditorium at Suntec City. Yixuan was saying she learnt more than she ever did in Uni. Haha! It's true. It was really interesting! We attained 9/20 marks. Not bad for our standard man!

On tuesday, my MNO group stayed back in school to finish our beautiful Zoe Project to help delinquent girls. There was lotsa video editing to do and many loose ends to tie up. Josh booked a multimedia lab through the NUS computer centre and we were given this god forsaken container lab in a colonial house behind the central library. Can u imagine there are colonial houses in NUS. I didn't even know that such a road existed?! Anyway, we were almost done with the video editing when I accidentally tripped on the laptop wire and the laptop crashed. Shihwan tried restarting numerous times but we could not open the file as it was 'damaged and corrupted'. For the next 30 minutes, my whole world came crashing doen. I could not think of anything else except that I wanted so badly for a miracle to happen and change things around. After many unsuccessful attempts of opening the file, the tears came. I couldn't hold them back. I felt that I disappointed my group especially because that meant that we had to redo it. 40% of our MNO grade hinged on a miracle that was yet to happen. At 1am, the file managed to be opened (quite eerily). I thank God for his grace and mercy. In the end, I went home at 4am while the guys stayed back to render the files and burn them into a DVD.

Today, we celebrated Elvan's birthday at Munchie Munky's. It was fun talking and listening to Eugene's crap. The tiramisu which was Elvan's birthday cake was quite nice too.

Many other exciting things happened.
I think about my friends too!
Miss u all loads. U know who u are :)

Catch Me

2009-10-05T01:24:00.003+08:00

See this heart
Won't settle down
Like a child running scared from a clown
I'm terrified of what you'll do
My stomach screams just when I look at you

Run far away
So I can breathe
Even though you're far from suffocating me
I can't set my hopes too high
Cus every hello ends with a goodbye

But you're so hypnotizing
You've got me laughing while I sing
You've got me smiling in my sleep
And I can see this unravelling
Your love is where I'm falling
But please don't catch me

Michael & The Surfers

2009-07-08T12:10:00.008+08:00

My blog has always remained with the title 'Heal the World'. Indeed, his songs has touched my heart and 'Heal the World' is one of my favourites. A legend has left us physically but he has left us a myriad of records to remember him by. Michael Jackson was just as human as anyone of us. It is unfortunate that we lose such an amazing entertainer but it is even more unfortunate that people had to shoot him down in all his wackiness. He would have been better left alone. The greatest condolence of all is that he is safe in the arms of Jesus, free of accusation and free to be in His Neverland. Rest in peace Michael. This morning's memorial service was solemn and dignified. I stayed up to watch it like everybody else in the world. It is hard to forget someone so talented.

On a happier note, I did enjoy the times with my OG. The OGLs are fantastic and my OG is great! (although sometimes reluctant to cheer). Hah.

Here are some pics from camp and outings.

East Coast Cycling and Blading (in the rain)

Ben and Jerry's cum Murderer Session

Manhanttan Fish Market (awful food)

Riverboat Marina

Sentosa Wet Games

Silver Surfer!

The Pyramid Game

Painted

Burger Game

Holland Village Essential Brew (awful food again)

Oh My My My My

2009-06-26T13:40:00.003+08:00

Five million things ran through my mind last night. It was not until 2am that exhaustion got the better of me. I haven't been here for a long time. Blogging's like a drug. It gets you high but leaves you dry. Many people have been pestering me for updates. Well I can't see why you're so interested in my mundane life. But here's some scoop for you.

I've been working since December. Now, I just feel like having a break. This month has been pretty awesome. Great holidays and NUS business camp was kinda fun! Watched Angels and Demons a month ago. Now I'm craving for Transformers as I stare at the poster in my room.

7 months. The brevity of it all. I feel unusually unsettled and unaccomplished. Friends I can't seem to let go. 4 years in NJIP has left perfect memories. But these are just memories. My friends are all going separate ways. I understand it's time to move on and start afresh.

People I will always cherish!

Zhen, my bestie!
Zhen, Nut, Gimlim, John - ip1/ip2 clique :))
05ip01 class + ip cohort!
Justin & Zhili - R-CUBE fun!
Best of all, FLOORBALLERS!

It was just exactly a year ago that the floorballers worked their butts off for nationals. They were my second family. We trained everyday in June and had the greatest matches and victories. Floorball was one of the reasons I looked forward to school. I couldn't wait for lectures and tutorials to end just so we could train and have fun in each others' company. Colours Night. Meals together. Parties. Prom. These shall be etched in my mind.

People believe NJ to be a boring place. That's untrue. What matters is the people you find and love as friends. I can't exchange that for anything else in the world.

Take me back to the house in the backyard tree
Said you'd beat me up, you were bigger than me
You never did, you never did
Take me back when our world was one block wide
I dared you to kiss me and ran when you tried
Just two kids, you and I...
Oh my my my my

3 shops worth your time!

2009-06-01T17:36:00.003+08:00

hey peeps!

I'm sure that by now, most of you have heard about my blogshop selling handmade laptop cases.

PLUSH!
www.plush-sg.co.nr

Please drop by and pick something that suits you. They aren't just laptop cases! They are totally fantastic for storing a4 paper and notes!

Besides, my blogshop, please check out two other shops.

Magpie-finds sells beautifully crafted earrings, bracelets, necklaces and penadants!

Scrawlbooks sells skillfully and delicately made notebooks!

how do you sleep?

2009-05-20T10:20:00.004+08:00

Last week:

- baked almond coffee cake! Yum!

- watched Helios II at Marina Barrage. There was a grand explosion of fireworks at the end. Pretty!

This year, I’ve had sleepless and sleepy nights. Sometimes, work squeezed every ounce of strength in me till I had none left by midnight. On sleepless nights, I think about my friends. Those who I miss dearly, I wish to see them soon. There are nights I cross my fingers hoping to be accepted into business school. When I finally got offers from NTU and NUS, I jumped in delight. I seriously did not think I would be offered my first choice. Last Friday, I accepted the NUS offer. Although most of my friends are going NTU and some are going overseas, I still believe NUS is the right place for me. Although the Biz course at NUS is a year longer than NTU’s, I’m still happy as a lark! But I’m gonna miss all my friends. Honestly, I don’t know of a single soul going to NUS. So if you are reading this and you accepted NUS, please give a shout out so I know that I’m not alone.

I’m going for the MOE Scholarship Interview next Tuesday. I was told that I placed Teaching Services as one of my choices for the PSC Scholarship but I’m pretty sure I did not! If I get the scholarship, I have to take Economics and drop Business. I really have no idea which is better for me. This is called an ultra huge gigantic dilemma man! It’s gonna chart my life route. And I’ve gotta make a decision fast.

I realised that more and more people from the US are reading my blog and I fail to understand why. How do they even know of it? I don’t link my blog to anything at all. This is creepy and outright strange. Maybe I should be like Gimlim, locking my blog and only inviting friends to read.

Watched Henry Poole Is Here last week. I do not recommend you to watch it unless you’re thinking of falling asleep while watching. The plot is lame and I don’t even understand the ending. Its vague and without basis. Just don’t watch it! I wanna watch Angels and Demons! These kinda movies are thrilling and keep you on the edge of your seat.

Regarding the Aware saga, I feel that although it is a tad too irritating considering how much press coverage it received, it is a good thing that it was brought up. Imagine if no one had the initiative to voice their opinions on the content they were teaching in schools, many parents would not know of it. The new guard had reason to intervene because what they were teaching previously is clearly wrong. I however do not agree with the way they took over. It was too sudden. Then again, what other way could they have done it to bring this issue to light. This is not an issue of religious views; this is just plain morals in our society. Just because homosexuality is becoming more common doesn’t amount to it being alright. Just like how terrorism is becoming more prevalent doesn’t mean that it’s fine. Duh, it’s not. This is a question of morals. It is not to say we should discriminate against gays, rather we should not encourage it. We can always accept and embrace them as one of us. Just like how we accept and embrace prostitutes. YEAH?

Time After Time

2009-05-13T14:23:00.004+08:00

2008 and 2009 has unmistakingly been a horrible year for many. Besides the fact that the US has a black president or the fact that the latest season of American Idol is hands down the best ever, we’ve gotta admit that catastrophe is everywhere.

In the past few months, we’ve seen the credit crisis, the Sichuan quake, the quake in A’quila, the Kinglake fires, the Mumbai bombings, the swine flu scare, the Turkish bloodbath, the protests against governments around the world, the Tamil Tigers plotting attacks, Israel and Palestine at loggerheads for years, suicide bombers everywhere. The aftermath played out in slow motion and is playing out still. These are grave reminders that our world is degrading instead of improving.

A tearjerker movie may take us on an emotional ride but the headlines of people dying everyday leaves us cold. It’s become the norm.

Talking about movies, I’m reminded about Red Thread and Fighting Spiders. Red Thread is lame. The acting is so stiff and the pronunciation is far from great. Fighting Spiders is kinda cool. The fattie Charlie is so adorable! American Idol Semi-finals tonight! Yay!

Last month, Zhen and I had a mini celebration for Nut. Gimlim couldn’t come on time. Haven’t seen Gimlim for a long long time. Worse, I haven’t seen John since A Levels. He wasn’t there at Prom. Did I see him on results day? I have bad memory man... Anyway, I really miss all my friends. I hope Zhen chooses NUS!!

The floorballers did not miss the NJ-VJ match. No way! We were rooting for or juniors and I would say even though they were defeated, they played amazingly well and I’m proud of them! Later, we hung out at Junction 8, eating amidst bright orange lights and suspicious cleaners. We had a blast catching up with one another, shooting the breeze and taking pictures with a horse/shoe. Not to forget trying to take group photos but always cutting Chewyan out of the picture. Man, it was funny. Chewyan was trying her best to stretch her hand but the lens refused to let her in. Hahaha!

Friends at Timbre, Clark Quay

Floorballers!

Twouble With Twitter

2009-04-16T16:13:00.003+08:00

Things are so different from last year. I wake up at 815am everyday. Last year, I woke up at 615 and I rush to school for floorball physical training. If you're late, you'll have to run 3 rounds. For that reason, I was ususally (not always) punctual. This year, the incentive for punctuality is wages. Yeah.

I'm not going to blog about myself cus it's just boring.

Here's a video that's really funny and true.

Unbelievalable!

2009-04-01T14:11:00.005+08:00

If post A-levels freedom stinks of any emotion, it is fear. Fear of unexpected results, fear of not getting into the course you have been dreaming of, fear of not being in the university all your friends are bound to go to.

Yesterday, on my way back home after dinner with the floorballers, I was bathed in MRT perspiration perfume. There I was, holding my breath, impatient over the number of stops I had left. Each time the doors slid open, I took every opportunity to gulp some fresh breaths.

Meeting up with the floorballers was pretty awesome. We talked about lotsa stuff and discovered new things. Every now and then, when Mer hears something funny or (unbelievalable), she never fails to laugh into my lap and bang her fists on the table.

We had a mini celebration for Zhen's and Yini's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZHEN AND YINI! Zhen was so thrilled about the Pastamania cup. I gave Zhen an extra alarm clock I had which has really cool features. But giving a clock to someone is considered a superstition. To offset it, you're supposed to pay the person some money. I can't believed Zhen went ahead with the superstition man. She paid me 50 cents!! Hahaha. It's okay, I'm 50 cents richer and I just used it on my lunch drink.

2 weeks ago, Zhen and I attented the NUS and NTU Open House. No prizes for guessing which one faired better. Goodies and Freebies make a great impression. We hardly met any NJ friends. Just a few other friends here and there. It was only at the later part of NTU that we met Justin Har, Sherrie, Louis, Kinphang and company. They are so hilarious. I don't even know what they talk about because my Chinese is so horrible but their gestures and constant shouting is strangely entertaining.

On most days, I have been ambivalent, at best about university life. Now, all that's inside is hatred. I don't want to start school again. I love working and doing my own stuff. To be not weighed down my schedules or homework. It's a great feeling.

My Very Own

2009-03-12T17:49:00.002+08:00

I thought I knew all the answers.
These splotches of black I can't erase.
If five becomes six
or six becomes seven
Will things really change?

A Little Bit Longer

2009-02-26T10:14:00.013+08:00

So my current job ends this Friday. It's a bittersweet feeling. I love to work because it keeps my mind stimulated and gets it off uncomforatable nasty thoughts of the impending results. The extra income's a bonus. Well, on the bright side, I get to relax! YAY!

Work has been undoubtedly tiring. It entails keying in employee's particulars into IRAS forms (IR8A AND A8A and so on). Gotta calculate the gross salary, bonus, commission, allowance, benefits-in-kind blah blah. There are so many components to sum up for each item. These shallow calculator buttons. I can hardly feel or know if I've pressed them right. Not to mention my constant dozing off as I key them in. At times, the server really gets on my nerves. As I'm keying in let's say 30 entries and have yet to save them, it hangs and I've gotta log in and key them all over again. There was an instant where I had to keep logging back in to key in just a single employee's entry. All that signing in an out took me 30 minutes okay. I logged in 8 times and every time I get in, it tells me my session hass expired because it has been idle for too long. Please! I just logged in??! So that situation got me really pissed that day.

There are good times though. I love eating lunch with April and the Figtree people. They are from the previous company I worked for. Surprisingly, my current workplace is situated in the same building so I always have the chance to meet them for lunch. The people in my current office always 'dapao' lunch back to the office. They eat and work simultaneously. I prefer to have a proper lunch and great fellowship over lunch and drinks. April and I have been discussing about the release of our results, the trepidation, the uncertainty of it all and the cluelessness of what course we're gonna take. It's really fun having her around. We'll giggle at really absurd and funny things Aleem and Beatrice say. Luke keeps quizzing everyone on Bible trivia. Hahaha!

Lately, there have been too many plane crashes to follow. Yesterday, a turkish airline crashed at Amsterdam's airport. Nine deaths. If only the Hudson river miracle happened for those casulaties. Life's but a fleeting moment. That's why everyone should live each day like it is the last. So easy to say. Too hard to do so.

Febuary's coming to a close. So far, this month, i attended Renette and Rachel's birthday. Jiejie treated mummie and I to NeworkNewyork. I wasreally happy cus I was so hungry. I gobbled down everything. The cheesy potato wedges were irresistable! Met up with the floorballer's for CNY at Mer's.

Last Tuesday, we had our monthly floorballers gathering at Plaza Singapura's Carl's Junior. I guess it's gonna be Dhoby Ghaut forever since it is the most central and convenient meeting place. We had plain dumb conversations with one another as usual. Just to list one.

Pris: Why aren't you wearing yellow?

Me: Huh, why?

Pris: Mango! Points at my mango shirt.

I remember walking away from Pris and Bingxin, rolling my eyes.

So we hanged out there for quite a while. It's great to catch up on things. I love the floorballers very much. They've been a huge part of my JC life. Though school's over now, I think about the great times we all had every once in a while. I miss those moments at the grandstand, in the gym, on the track, on the field, at the D. That morning, I was busy saving loads and loads of songs into Zhen's thumbdrive. I love the Jonas Brothers, Taylor Swift, David Archuleta and Miley Cyrus songs. I don't quite like Miley though. She's plain annoying as a person. That's just my impression. Anyway, I was browsing through all the songs I have in my laptop and I found a song titled Over The Hills and Far Away. It was recommended by John Song. I remember him telling me how great the song is. It is a song he randomly downloaded and he was going on about how great his taste in music is. I remember listening to it on his ipod and thinking it was kinda cool. So I downloaded it and now listening to it again, it sounds really celtic and strange. Hahaha! John is really funny!

Talking about the Jonas Brothers, I've been watching their interviews on Youtube. Nick Jonas has diabetes. I didn't realise it was such a chore coping with diabetes until he said that he has to prick his finger 12 times a day to check his blood levels and he carries an insulin pump around and changes it every three hours. Imagine all therocking and jumping on stage with a pump. And I also just discovered that the song A Little Bit Longer was a song he composed about waiting for the cure for diabetes. All along, I thought it was a tragic love song. Little did I know he was talking about his condition. Oh man.

I remember my infatuation with Blue about 6 years ago. Right now, my infatuation with the Jonas brothers is different. I love them for their goody-two-shoes image. Here's a video of them on the Ellen just last week. I love watching Ellen!

This Sat, I think I'll join the floorballers for Road Run and the picnic. I hope it's fun! Gotta meet up with Gimlim and Huziafah too! But right now, I don't wanna put myself in a too excited mood. Results matter.

Muse on Mars

2009-02-17T13:30:00.000+08:00

In a room of spotlights and flashlights
What an endless night
Amidst the music and the screams
He took my eyes first glimpse
As he brushed his fingers through his hair
To tell him he was so cool I couldn’t dare
When he talked I held every breath for him
The world almost never grew dim
We always argued over silly things
His favourite songs I listen and sing
Whenever things go wrong
He was my shoulder to cry on
My mind frame never changed
Till he came to rearrange

2008 saw a year of tears
I never voiced out the chasing desire
Hanging on the hopes of a star
It’s not too far from Mars

He was so beautiful to adore
Like a diamond washed up on the shore
That perfect smile and smoky eyes
Are they worth all my cries?
In this sweltering Indian summer heat
I rather the wind sweep him off his feet
Or he fall for a shooting star
Or he dream of snow white than her

She doesn’t like his songs
Can she read him for long?
She doesn’t get his humour
Nor his fav ice cream flavour

He’s the same colour as my dreams
Midnight and the streets are asleep
You call me on my cell
An indecision to tell
I turn off the ringing in this moment
And kill you with my silence
Cus you’re not the one I am dreaming of tonight
It does not feel right
And I don’t wanna lead you on
Maybe it’s best you leave me alone
These blues haunt me
This might get ugly

I scream into my pillow
It’s time to let go
I’m goin against gravity
Send me to another galaxy
Cus you will never know
And he will never know

Oobeedoo

2009-02-11T09:21:00.010+08:00

JONAS BROTHERS I AM WHAT I AM
now playing

I am what I am
I can't help myself
And if you don't like it
Get with somebody else
I'll never change my ways
It's not a phase
This is how it is and this is how it's gonna stay
Because I am what I am I know what I'm not
I'm not the type of guy That doesn't know how good he's got it
And I won't back down
Won't come around
Saying that I changed cause
That's not how it's going down

And I know
Wherever I go
I know where I stand
I am what I am

I am what I am
What can I say?
I'm gonna be this way
Right up until my dying day
Because that's how it goes head to my toes
And if it doesn't show well
I just had to let you know
Because I am what
I am And nobody else
And if you've got a problem
Better take it somewhere else
Because I can't turn back
I'm right on track
And if you think you know
Well then you better check your facts

Oh can't you see I'm just being me
I can't be you And I don't want to be
Don't try to get Inside my head
Cause what you see is what you get

I can't help it. I love the Jonas Brothers for their cheesy songs. It's not surprising coming from a High School Musical fan. Cheesy songs make my day!

Day by day, I feel more and more unfit. I can't climb the stairs without panting. I can't run for the bus without sighing as I tap my ezlink card upon boarding. This is bad. Bad bad bad. Gone are the days when I could run for at least 6 rounds without halting in between. If you threw me back into the court right now, I will run a little, chase after the ball and in next to no time, I would have collapsed in the benches.

So work has been fine. I love dressing up. It's become a routine ever since the year started. I am no longer shackled to the daily monotonous schedule of studying. Talking about studying, I can still hardly believe A levels is over for good. Perhaps it is this feeling that has brought upon the numerous nightmares about A levels.

Recently, I have been having dreams involving myself sitting for an A level paper but having not prepared for it. No doubt I sit for the test. It is horrible so I freak out and scream for the timtable for the rest of the A level papers. I wake up in horror and then, sinks in the relief that it was all a dream. At times, working can be more tiring than school. I start work at nine and end at six. By the time I reach home, I have dinner and plonk myself on the couch to watch a movie or some other interesting programme. Soon I fall into deep slumber. Ocassionally, I drag my lifeless body to my bed and continue my dear sleep. Since the year started, I have been constantly waking up at either 3 or 4 oclock sharp. It's rather uncanny because the needle rests not a minute less or more. I stay awake for about an hour before I fall back to sleep. Such a waste of time. Yet, that's how it's been for my nights.

When I get to work, I sit in my chair for 3 hours, go out for lunch and stretch a little, return to the office only to continue staring at the computer for another 5 hours. My neck hurts. My back hurts. My eyes hurt. I stare at figures and names all day and drooling at the fashionably high income of wealthy bankers and the likes. I swear I'm gonna get myopia for sure. 18 years of perfect eyesight are gonna vanish. There is no greenery or windows for me to stare out of to rest my weary eyes. The only consolation is a calendar which sits on my table containing scenic pictures of meadows and rivers. So I stare at them. They don't help much. Obviously.

I am now staring at an ice cream badge I got from attending Rachel and Renette's birthday party last friday. It is kinda cute. There are 2 ants on my table now. I am gonna smash them soon. Yes, I'm evil. Okay, mission accomplished.

breathe

2009-01-29T14:27:00.002+08:00

CNY was okay.

I met Justin Har by sheer coincidence on the second day of new year. He was booking in at Pasir Ris. There was lotsa army boys clad in the new pixelated uniforms. There I was walking through a crowd of them when suddenly I heard someone shout ‘Aretha!’

I wasn’t exactly stunned. I mean it wouldn’t be a surprise to find some of my friends in the crowd. However, as my eyes trailed the direction of the shout from behind, I found myself staring up a clean shaven man with a chiseled face. At the back of my mind, I was trying to fish out an appropriate response. I do not know him, I thought. Who is this guy? I almost blurted “Sorry, but who are you?” Thank goodness I did not. 6 seconds later, I glance at his name tag. It read- JT HAR.

‘Justin!!!’ I exclaimed. My goodness. How could I have not recognized him? We see each other almost everyday in school. We worked together for R-CUBE. We see each other every Saturday for tuition. We took prom photos. What was it about him that I couldn’t recognize, boy? I was so excited to see him after 2 months! I asked him to take off his cap so I could see his botak head. And then, I looked at him once more to register his face. He seemed so different. I don’t know why. I really don’t. Maybe he morphed. Perhaps another reason why I didn’t expect it to be Justin was because I wasn’t used to him calling me by my name. Often, he’ll call me ‘lao da’ or ‘boss’. Names I hate by the way. Hah.

More and more of our guy friends are going off to army. I’m gonna miss them terribly.

These days, I find myself immersed in Taylor Swift’s songs. The reason behind it all: her emotions feel real. The honesty embedded in her songs makes them worth listening to. Often, I feel so in tune with them because I share many similar emotions in certain periods of my life. Each song tells a specific story in each phase of her growing years. It’s like a little biography told in musical notes and lyrics.

Our song is the slamming screen doors,
Sneakin' out late, tapping on your window
When we're on the phone and you talk real low
'cause it's late and your mama don't know
Our song is the way you laugh
The first date "man, I didn't kiss her, and I should have"
And when I got home ... before I said amen
Asking God if he could play it again

work and play are never ok to mix the way we do

2009-01-22T16:52:00.004+08:00

I’m now working at Payroll Express which handles taxes for companies. I do the basic admin stuff which includes filing and entering data into servers so that employees can check their IRAS status, income, taxes, CPF and all. It’s quite alright.

At times, I have nothing to do. The office is busy and they have to look for duties for me (which takes up their time) and I feel bad. But there are times when many of them will suddenly hand me a lot of work just as it is time to call it a day. I’ll have to rush through the errands and i get overwhelmed with fatigue at the end of the day.

When I really have nothing to do, I will log on to facebook and blogs and my email or listen to my mp3. So I chatted on facebook with William, Marcus and Eeleng. It was fun cus I asked them what’s up with them and stuff. William’s back in S’pore, Marcus is typing math formulas for tuition, Eeleng’s working for Sentosa Universal Studios. Suddenly, I realized that people were wondering what I was doing, so I just logged off. And then on. And then off. It goes on…

Chinese New Year’s round the corner. It’s fun cus it’s my chance to eat delicious, melt in your mouth peanut, pineapple, green pea cookies and kueh bankit. What’s more. Kids get to earn angpows yeah? That’s why CNY is cool all the time (at least until I get married). I’m looking forward to meeting the floorballers again as well as oh one people during this period. We plan to go gimlim’s house. Hope he allows us in though.

Anyway, I think Aaron Johnson from Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging is really handsome!! Hahaha. Lalala.

Hello 2009

2009-01-08T17:55:00.003+08:00

It’s been a month. I’m back.

Please excuse me for ranting about prom after a month. I have yet to show my gratitude to all the wonderful people I came across in my 4 years in NJ. Some of them I have known for all 4 years or even more. Some of them for just 2 years because they came in 2007. And there are those I wished I got to know earlier. Prom marks end of this wonderful chapter. Some people will be off to NS, some have already left the country for good, and some are taking on new challenges. Behind the smiles in every picture lies the sadness of not being able to school with them again, to talk and laugh and joke like a naive student. Here are just four shots. My favourites.

I’ve been mainly occupied with rushing out college essays, working for a few days and taking a huge break. I am deeply sorry for not being able to attend some parties and gatherings. Just note that u all mean a huge lot in my lives.

Twenty oh nine. Gosh. It doesn’t even feel like a new year. In fact, it feels like any other day. Okay… it’s pretty different actually. 6 months back, the team shuttled to and fro from home to boonlay for practise at NTU. 5 months back, we bravely tackled the others. 4th place was one of the laurels we brought home gladly. Yet, more importantly, we brought home one of the strongest friendships, team spirit and highlights of the year. I daringly say the floorballers have created to stupidest jokes, laughed over them and repeated them on some basis. It’s stupid but it’s fun, no?

2008 has been peppered with ups and downs. Mumbai bombings. Beijing Olympics. Madoff. Tainted milk scandal. Mas Selamat manhunt. F1 night race. Singapore flyer (super lame). Time to put that behind us and prepare for the upcoming year.

Merry and blessed Christmas and happy new year and Chinese new year to all my friends. It’s heartwarming to receive holiday cards in my mail. Cool stuff!

05ipee01. I will never forget u as an entity. Thanks for everything literally. Stupid, awkward, random, nasty, retarded, bad, horrible, yippee moments. I cherish them all.

Zhen, nut, gimlim, john! Thanks for the hilarious ip1 and 2 days.
Jay, shiane, (and zhen)! Bcme was unboring only because of u girls.
Ybee, biq, gen! Trio I love.
Justin, zhili for retarded R-CUBE fun.
Floorballers for even more retarded days. Pris, bingxin, yini, chewyan for being umltimate clowns. Jenna for owning the blurqueen seat. Zhen for picture perfectness. Abby for princessyness. Sueping for being panda cum tweety in various ways(omg, post office I rmb). Jun for whining all the time. Ter for bounciness. And Mer for being beautiful fantastic captain (I still rmb she was called mas selamat and muzhi)!

I’ve watched The Duchess. It’s a fantastic period drama. I wasn’t bored at all because the actors captivated me throughout. A Keira Knightley film is always bound to rope in good reviews from me! Angus, Thongs and perfect snogging is another movie that’s worth watching. English schoolkids in cool uniforms. Cute guy onscreen. Hahaha. The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor was quite amusing and entertaining in mysterious ways, especially the Yeti scene. Beverly Hills Chihuahua was so hilarious and cutesy! Nights on Rodanthe was simply romantic.

Busy looking for a job now.

Everything will be alright alright

2008-12-09T12:16:00.002+08:00

I started work last week.

Prom and post-prom were superbly fun. Promise pics will be up soon. Kinda lazy as usual.

05ip01. Floorball. That's mostly on my mind.

All of the things I never did,
I was waiting for the right time.
All of the things I never said,
I was waiting for the right line.
When is the right time ever right?
I was waiting for the right sign.

Now that you're gone, I'll leave it as that.
Goodbye.

WE DON'T HAVE TIME LEFT TO REGRET

2008-11-26T18:30:00.009+08:00

The sudden realisation that it's all over is so surreal; as though I've woken from a dream. As I walked across the overhead bridge, it felt like walking on water. I couldn't walk straight. I'm not talking about alcohol overdose kinda walk. It's the absolute weightlessness and flight of freedom walk, like how princesses enter their golden palaces. As I was talking to Wilbert on the bus, it was both elation and anxiety. He kept talking about H2 grades and his predictions. It made me really worried, yet, I was so excited and relieved that the 24 day-long A levels is finally over. I felt like hugging him. But that would be so weird wouldn't it? Marissa might hammer me. Haha. I wouldn't do that obviously. But it just felt so good to know that someone felt the same fears before the exam and the same relief after it all.

Today's paper was okay. Comme ςi comme ςa. I started on my essays first. My first essay's fine but my second.... err... it was real crap translated into words on paper. I didn't even define what rational is. I just dived in straight and hit the bottom of the pool. I was left with 45 minutes for case study. Read it for 15 minutes and was left with u know how much time. But I managed to finish it in the end. These past 5 days were horribly draining. It was tiring but not the kinda fatigue you feel after playing a floorball match. After a match, you hardly get bored of it. In fact, you can't wait to get back on court and do your best again. The kinda fatigue I'm refering to, is the kind when the locomotive's engine refuses to chug anymore. I felt like giving up because I was so bored of reading the same thing over and over again and not being able to commit them to memory because my head was filled with so many other distractions!

Anyway, everybody,... I'm telling you that yunbing's voice is damn soft. She claims that she called us down to take a H3 class photo. Either she's lying or her voice is very soft. I mean Zhen, William and I weren't talking loudly or anything, so if she did shout our names from 1 level below, we would have heard okay... Now, once the photo is uploaded, I'm gonna photoshop our 3 faces in. We feel so unwanted, not part of the class. Nah, joking la. BUT BUT, I'm serious about the photoshopping thing huh.

I'm writing letters for prom. It's gotten me so excited! 4 years of memories in NJC. If only I could catalogue them and refer to them whenever I want. But everything's jumbled, I don't exactly remember the sequence of events. But I'm certain that they have left me a much happier person.

CLASS PHOTOS!

IPEE 1

IPEE 2

IPEE 3

IPEE 4

Cus an empty room can be so loud
There's too many tears to drown them out
Just hold on, hold on

You drive me crazy, i just can't sleep

2008-11-22T20:00:00.000+08:00

David Ricardo, Keynes, Smith, moral hazard, externalities, purpose of economics, blah blah blah. MNCs and TNCs, what’s the differnce boy? Seems the same to me. DAMN SATURATED. MY BRAIN IS GOING TO BURST. SERIOUSLY.

I am so distracted. I can’t focus. Everyone’s playing and enjoying their newfound freedom. I forbid myself to log on to Messenger or else I’ll become really jealous of those online. They’re probably planning for prom, watching tv, playing games, hanging out together, or just lazing around doing nothing. That beats studying. That beats studying for something you do not have high hopes for.

It’s the last lap of my race and I’m trying to give my all despite the occasional distractions. I have not touched my H3 notes since prelims. They are dusty, boring and difficult to memorise. I hate them. Yet, I’m forcing myself to love them, breathe them, drink them, gobble them down.
I’ve set up my personal cheer squad in my brain. GO ARETHA! Go go Aretha… lalala.

2008-11-08T20:04:00.003+08:00

The europhia over Obama's triumph is still lingering in the air. In amazement and awe of his capabilities as a person of colour, we cannot help but praise his humble victory. Indeed, change has come to America. It was just centuries ago that slavery happened. It was less that 40 years ago that lynching happened and a black was just three-fifths a person. The inhumanity and elitism was still rife then. Today, a new wave of post-modernism has swept over America. Finally, people have truly grasped the idea of democracy for all. Hopefully, Obama's charming, suave nature and confidence will translate into solid policies and rational decisions that will benefit the rest of the world too.

2008-11-07T16:51:00.002+08:00

Ida Scott Taylor said: "Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone and do not be troubled about the future, for it has yet to come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering."

One week of agony gone. 3 more weeks to face. GP and Math are finally over. I can't say that for the rest cus they're all broken down into many papers and spread out all over the weeks. Much like how proteins are cut into peptides by proteasomes and assimilated into the cytoplasm. It's absolutely frustrating that almost every paper this year is tough. GP, Math, Bio. Yes, especially Bio! Cambridge is having fun torturing us this year. I'm guessing that's what to expect for the other papers to come.

Looking into the very near future, I see a wonderful prom with all the floorballers sitting together at the table. Yes, I hope we all will be there. Smiling, talking, laughing, crying.

Letting Go

2008-10-17T02:02:00.004+08:00

I wish i could put them in simple words for you. Recently, I've been fighting myself mentally and emotionally and I realised I need to rid of this distraction. So maybe I really do not bother anymore, which is good for me. You see, I need some breathing space, time to be alone by myself and ultimately, time to prepare for the impending big As. I guess I'm very sensible after all. I will not yield to manipulation and possession. Time to assert my feelings and rights. JC life has been an uphill struggle. Not just work, but friendships. The course of maintaining them or simply throwing them away or avoid insulting one another when things turn sour. I guess I have myself to blame. I invlove myself in matters I should have just let go. Letting go is very important. It releases you from unncessary pain and burden.

My 4 years in IP has been undeniably interesting. I do not regret the friendships I've made. I think everyone has made a huge impact in my life (knowingly or not). I can say that IP sucks cus it didn't provide me enough or that I lost out in many ways such as the Olevels and the sec 4 bonding period. But NO! I will not. My IP years has given me many wonderful insights and opportunities. The ups and downs I've experienced have made me appreciate things better, made me stronger and resilient. Yes, I had nasty times. Yes, I've been nasty countless times. But I'm taking all in, breathing it, living it, loving it.

It's 6 hours to farewell assembly. I'm feeling the nostalgia and heartache. It's so typical. These parting moments...

What We Keep

2008-10-12T09:12:00.000+08:00

2008-10-03T19:29:00.000+08:00

“There seems to be a kind of order in the universe, in the movement of the stars and the turning of the earth and the changing of the seasons, and even in the cycle of human life. But human life itself is almost pure chaos. Everyone takes his stance, asserts his own rights and feelings, mistaking the motives of others, and his own.” - Katherine Anne Porter

Indeed.

We all fail, in so many ways, to please others and ourselves. Be it actions or words, they can be mistaken or ignored. Sometimes, or perhaps, all the time, we fuss over the trivial. To be smart not stupid, to be thin not fat, to be beautiful not ugly, to be accepted not outcast, to be loved not rejected, to be with company not alone. I look in the mirror and wonder how life’s experiences have moulded me to take this form. Am I a hypocrite, a liar, a backstabber or an enemy? I can’t deny that I am all these because I have been them before. I’m sure you too. I chase my dreams, yet when I get there, I take them for granted. Like they were meant to be mine in the first place. I guess I just like the chase but when the adrenaline fades, the thrills gone.

The fire dies.

2008-09-29T19:29:00.000+08:00

It’s a triple-whammy for me.

1) Been unwell for a week, and I’ve yet to recover.
2) Bio grades are disappointing, as usual. I had expected it, but to see the whole reality come right in my face is a whole different experience. I trudged home, shuffled my feet, though I hate the sound of shuffling, but I was so despondent, I couldn’t care less.
3) Kimi Raikkonen’s tragic crash with 4 laps to go. Massa’s fuel hose mistake. Ferrari’s misfortune.

I find it hard to believe that Singapore actually hosted an F1 night race, with the roads that my mum usually drives on as the circuit, brightly lit as though it was daytime. Feels like it never happened. Yet it did. Well done Singapore! Love u.

2008-09-15T19:27:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, life just seems so pointless and meaningless. Being positive isn’t as easy as it seems. Right now, we’re all on the same track, trying our best for A levels, studying hard, being disciplined, avoiding distractions. But grades aren’t everything, we’ve gotta juggle family responsibilities, friendship, care and love. Seems like in the midst of preparing for exams, I’ve lost a part of myself. I’ve been outta touch such that the face in the mirror is my alter-ego. Well, prelims do not determine anything. We’ve got 7 more weeks to make it work. Sometimes, the seemingly most insignificant thing triggers a heartwarming emotion in me. How huizhen is such a simple practical girl who’s afraid she might dislike clothes she bought 3 weeks earlier, how chewyan blurts out the weirdest thoughts, how pris tries to bring the sunshine into everything, how yini laughs and talks till it becomes inaudible, how mer laughs at everything under the sun, how gimlim gives the I-want-to-smile-yet-I-don’t-wanna-show smile so often, how a frog leaps across the road so hurriedly, how the paralympians display such great courage and determination in their games. I could go on forever.

Today’s GP lesson on ‘religion, good or bad?’ seemed so far from good. My thoughts were mainly how religion divides instead of recruit. The numerous sectarian killings, internecine fighting, genocides, massacres in Darfur, Somalia, Iraq. Such unrest all ignited by racial and religious hatred. How could people not see that we’re humans all the same?

When are we gonna stand up as people
Realize that as people we’re all equal
We don’t want no world war sequel
For the love of god, think of the people

We share one earth, one oxygen tank, and one humanity. Why can’t we all simply embrace one another, show respect and love? It’s been a roller-coaster ride of emotions lately. I’ve tried but I can’t disguise the way I feel inside. Maybe we’re trying too hard. Maybe I’ve been acting too cold. Maybe I indeed deserve such treatment, or maybe you just wanna agitate me with your indifference, just as I have. It’s been a hell of a ride and I’m getting jaded.

2008-09-13T19:19:00.000+08:00

It was both relief and jubilation yesterday. H3 was okay. Nevermind the strange case study since most people felt they same way. My hand never stopped moving. It wrote with such fury, there were times I could have almost tore the paper.

After the 4 week long prelim, it was high time for us to take a break. Guess where we went? Yes, u got it right! SENTOSA! Pity the sun was sleeping. But some of us still got tanned. Zhen, Mer and I were walking along Palawan beach, trying to look for the rest of the floorballers. At first we thought we waved to the wrong people because there was a random dude standing next to them. We felt stupid because we waved back at them really enthusiastically. When the random dude finally walks away and when we they came closer in sight, we realized that they were indeed the floorballers, playing soccer at the beach! We couldn’t stop laughing at ourselves.

I don’t have pics of yesterday, but I’m telling u that it was amazing. We talked for hours, took pictures and walked around Sentosa aimlessly – looking at love birds, taking pictures of a dead snake, having fun on the monorail. It’s just 4 weeks to the end of school and 6 weeks to the start of A levels.

My heart thumps feverishly as I think about:

1) how these wonderful people who have shaped my life are going their separate ways

2) how the big As is going to decide my fate

This photo captures the faces of the people I love so wildly. Plus those missing: Yini,Pris, Huijun

2008-08-26T19:18:00.000+08:00

First it was Bio. Next was Math. Both equally terrible. As consolation, at least I still have a chance to pull up the grades by preparing well for the subsequent papers. That shall be my salvation. It’s not over yet. I’m forging ahead. Besides, A levels is the ultimate judge of my fate, not prelims. Damn, I have to stop telling myself that. It’s like an excuse to do badly this time. Whatever it is, I am gonna do well for As. So much for idealism. That’s me.

It's a shame to be

so euphoric and weak

when you smile at me'

Cause your so disarming

I'm caught-up in the midst

of you and I cannot resist at all

2008-08-10T19:17:00.000+08:00

Studying is frustrating in so many ways. I’ll tell u why.

How is it not frustrating trying to find out the angles in an argand diagram u can’t even sketch? And even if u manage to, u just end up staring at it agape and totally hate complex numbers. How is it not frustrating when u do not understand why the hell the neuron needs to overshoot in hyperpolarization or why calcium ions keep flowing in and out all over the place? How is it not frustrating when u are stuck at identifying an organic compound and hence, can’t proceed identifying the other compounds B TO Z? How is it not frustrating when u feel like a loser in H3 econs while others seem to really know what the hell is coming out from their mouths? How is it not frustrating when u try to write a GP essay with a logical structure but it ends up being really free-style and amateurish?

There are so many more reasons I do not have to list. You know what it feels like cus your brains are probably going crazy too now. We’ve gotta hang in there people. We’ll tide this over together.

The things I stuff in my brain for prelims and A Levels will be flung out once they’re over. So what’s the point of even stuffing in the first place. It’s illogical. Think about it. It is seriously a stupid thing to do. But I have to do it anyhow. Yes, please give me all the wishes I need. I promise I’ll use them well. HAHAHA!

This girl has gone crazy.

I attended R-CUBE ’08 today. And it brings back memories of my own R-CUBE. How we prepared for the event right from the start to the very day itself. How it turned out to be a huge success because of help from everyone. How lame Zhili and Justin were. The videos are hilarious. Anyway, on Friday, the floorballers hanged out together and mer’s captain surprise was undeniably fun (and spastic. What’s new?)

Do not tell me now what u really wanna say. Hold back. Just wait.

2008-07-30T19:15:00.000+08:00

It’s been a long time. I’m back. If u visit often, u’d realize my previous post’s been deleted. Yes, for a good reason of course. I’m happy that the mini spat has ceased because it was rather immature don’t u think? Even I feel that way about myself retaliating. I guess both teams just wanted to defend their CCAs. That is a good thing. To love your CCA and stand up for it.

Last week we watched the finals for both the girls and guys floorball matches. It was fast, aggressive, intense, furious, bloody, sweaty and tragic. I can’t believe MJ guys lost. It was such a pity. However, both MJ and RJ were equally matched this time and RJ had a deserving win because they fought so hard and surprised us all with their aggression, ability and will. The semi-finals between VJ and YJ was even more tragic. VJ had two own goals. If not they’d win. As for the girls, the MJ team was undeniably the strongest and most deserving team. After the finals, it was prize presentation time. I remember how noob we were. Just seated on the floor, not knowing what to do when they said ‘In fourth place, NJC.’ It was comical.

The ride home with fred, louis, kinphang, jianhong and gary was full of laughter.

Gary: Don’t you think Mr Harry Tiew looks like Daniel Radcliffe?
Me: Huh? What?! Gary: Daniel Radcliffe… the Harry Potter guy.
Me: No la.
Gary: Harry looks like Harry. Guys burst out laughing. All he needs is a scar on his head.
Me: HAHAHA!
Gary: Don’t u think so? His has this pointer. It’s like his wand.
Me: Shut up.
Everybody laughs crazily.

Kinphang: Gary, her hair stands are like crossed one over another. (in Chinese)
Me: What did u say about me?
Gary: Your hair is very messy.
Me: I know. Relaises that my fringe is full of perspiration and is really tangled.
Kinphang: I can play tic tac toe in it.
Me: Oh my goodness kinphang…I miss the times we cheer for one another. ‘NJ on 3. 1,2,3, NJ!’ I miss the times on the bus on the way to Republic Poly or Tampines. The fun, laughter joy and love. No one can take that away from us. No one.

I hate school. Absolutely.

2008-07-18T19:14:00.000+08:00

Today’s match… hmm… I don’t really wanna talk about it. Let’s concentrate on the next match, girls. It ain’t over yet, yo! Hahaha. Thanks to all the supporters who cheered for our team all the way with such gusto and enthusiasm. I believe they were all feeling extremely intense while watching the game because that’s how the girls felt while watching the guy’s match on Monday. My ride home took 50 minutes. Kinphang’s ride took about 1 hour too. I can’t imagine how long it would take for Louis to get home. I think it’ll probably take 1 hour and 40 minutes? That’s insane.

Anyway, here’s a poem that inspires me:

Don’t quit when the tide is the lowest
For it is about to turn
Don’t quit over doubts and questions
For there’s something u may learn
Don’t quit when the night is the darkest
For it’s just a while till dawn
Don’t quit when u’ve run the farthest
For the race is almost won
Don’t quit when the hill is the steepest
For your goal is almost nigh
Don’t quit, for u’re not a failure
Until u fail to try.

2008-07-12T19:11:00.000+08:00

NJC vs VJC: 7-3. A life-defining moment, a turning point, a spectacular miracle has descended upon the njc floorball girls who have sacrificed one and a half years of sweat, drops of tears and some blood and a bucket full of love, just to claim the much coveted title of top 4! My goodness, you would say. How did they do it? My friend, it’s not surprising, considering how much effort the team has put in. We have poured our heart and soul to the team and promised each other that we’ll strive hard. This is all worth it girls. We have done it. We have proven that there ain’t no mountain high enough, ain’t no valley low enough and ain’t no river wild enough to keep us away from stepping up to challenges. I am so proud of us! Last night, I was in euphoria. I kept smiling to myself as I thought of the love we have for one another. From playing floorball, to watching Aristal, to hanging around in the canteen in the mornings, during breaks and lunches, to attending lectures together. what word could more aptly describe us that the word ‘family’. I love every one of u for different reasons and I believe u know why. Like I said, ‘we don’t need words to ‘ know how each of us is feeling. That’s because as a team we share the same sentiments, the same goals, the same aspirations, the same love : ) ’. We shall stick together through thick and thin, ride the stormy oceans and sail the smooth seas.

It’s a privilege to have RedSports reporting on our match, especially when we are placed in such good light and awesome poses. However, the part ‘It was seen that nothing mattered much more than the match as even when NJC #19 tripped by accident, she simply picked herself up and continue bravely with the match’ is not true. The opponent pushed me. But, obviously I did carry on playing immediately. Haha!

For the report ‘Victory as National Junior College overcome Victoria JC 7-3’, please click here http://redsports.sg/2008/07/12/njc-vjc-floorball/.

I am so proud of my liners! I think we played well today. Let’s strive harder, keep the faith and optimism, avoid complacency and try to score this fri!

2008-07-10T19:11:00.000+08:00

The impending match will determine our fate. It’s the match that makes all the difference. Scared? Excited? I can’t choose an appropriate emotion cus they’re mangled and intertwined feelings. I guess I’m just feeling both simultaneously. Yet, I choose not to believe in fate. We are in control of our future. There is no predetermined result. The time has come for us to give our best. Soon, the future will be present and the present will be history. We’ve got to make that history count. We’ve got to be able to celebrate on it.

You told me not to give up on anything I do. I made a promise and I shall keep it.

2008-06-27T19:10:00.000+08:00

Today was horrid. I hate almost every aspect of today.

1) My SAT scores are miserable.
2) I didn’t realize it was Friday. I packed my bag for Wednesday, thinking it was indeed a Wednesday and was without my essential notes and worksheets.
3) I didn’t bring my water bottle and was dehydrated during econs lecture.
4) Throughout math lesson, I could not concentrate because all my effort was channeled to controlling my breathing patterns. Somebody’s cologne and body odour combusted to form a real stink and I was seated right behind him.
5) I had no idea GP lesson had been cancelled so I waited for everyone in the classroom for 15 minutes like an idiot.
6) A teacher accused me for smuggling gummy bears into the library. Though that was my intention, I was scared out of my wits. Thankfully Zhili saved me from that potential shit I could have gotten into.
7) I lost control of my fatigue for many lessons. I just went plonk on the table.
8) My H3 grades are disappointing.
9) The gravity model project is cancelled?! What a waste of my precious time.

Anyway, I’ve had a marvelous time training with the floorballers today. I’ve fallen in love with my liners! Let me introduce them: Sueping (kungfu panda), Yini (the wonder woman) and Cat (sexy cat). Sueping has violent tendencies. She’s like a bulldozer, fast, sturdy and lethal. Watch out people. Huizhen, you’re is next in line man. Yini is a woman of steel. Zhili and I were talking about how strong and resilient she is. I’ve a lot of respect for her cus her back injury and knee injury will never dampen her passion and determination for floorball. Cat is ultra sexy, calm, cool and confident on court. Her shots are awesome too!

So, although I had every reason to be pissed off, these are the people that cheered me up and made my day :)

2008-06-22T19:08:00.000+08:00

The holidays have unfortunately come to an abrupt end before I could accomplish anything substantial. The day is too short, period. I haven’t done my homework. (except for a few miserable hypothesis testing questions and chem questions that are mostly left blank). I haven’t done what I had planned to do: sketch the ideas that frequently occupy in my mind, arrange my cupboard (yes, everything’s simply piled and chucked aside only to be discovered eons later), read my TIME mags, listen to my old cds. Basically, I haven’t relaxed.

Everyday, I reach home, physically drained, unmotivated to study. When I sleep, floorball’s mostly on my mind. I dream about gameplay, running after the ball, protecting the ball, getting ready to shoot, calling defenders by the boards. On Thursday morning, I dreamt about training at acs barker when I have not even gone for training. It was about 4am when I woke up from my dream and there I was, lying in bed, feeling all sweaty as though I had an exhausting session. Anyway, I thoroughly enjoy my baths and sleeping time, mostly because that’s when I’m alone with my thoughts and when I feel revitalized.

I tried playing ‘who has the biggest brain’ on Facebook today. I wanted to beat Jianhong’s score. Hahaha. It was impossible. I simply remained stagnant at the same scores. It’s so absurd that Jianhong was in my primary 3 and 4 class. I’ve tried my best to recall him but nothing comes out of it. I only remember having fun with Mer, influencing her to do naughty things, getting her to hate Chinese, climbing fences and bullying teachers. That sounds so unlike me, I know. But they were surely fun times. And now, being with Mer again just makes me feel so lucky. Anyway, I tried playing ‘Scramble’ on Facebook. It’s like a mutation of ‘Scrabble’ and ‘Boggle’. I accepted William’s challenge, thinking it would a breeze for me. But, I ended up playing so noobishly, scoring a miserable 8 points for one of the rounds while he scored 31? Uurghhhh. It wasn’t as though it was a beginner’s uncertainty of the game. I was given 5 chances. FIVE! And I kept losing all 5 rounds (though I played better in the last round scoring 30, but he topped it with 50 :( ). But i plan to challenge Trent and see how it goes. I shall find my niche game and do well in it. For now, I shall just admit I’m a loser in such intellectual games.

This week has been strange. I’ve felt so many different emotions and I’m trying to sort them out. Sometimes, I get tired doing so, turning my heart to steel seems like the best option. There are so many things plaguing my mind. U know how I felt, yet u still do it, over and over. I’m turning my back, once again.

I love talking to u too, I just realized.

2008-06-13T19:06:00.000+08:00

JC life isn’t easy. Ip one and two were merely transition stages. Yes, it was sheer fun. We played almost everyday, drowned ourselves in each other’s company, shared secrets and gossiped and so on. These 2 years have, however, proven to be really challenging.

Firstly, taking on floorball is exhausting, requires a whole lot of discipline and energy, but rewarding. Now, I find myself having to step up to new challenges, fighting my insecurities, just taking on the world bit by bit.

Secondly, coping with my subject combi BCME has been mentally tiring and boring. I don’t know how to express my dissatisfaction. Friends tell me it’s interesting, that I’m just being negative, that I should learn to just accept my decision and mug for it. They don’t understand the internal struggle within – how I totally hate chemistry let alone biochemistry, how I hate reading about atoms and not being bale to fathom how people even came up with the terminology ‘atoms’ or ‘operons’ or what have u. I obviously wasn’t an avid science student. I did much better in humanities. So why did I freaking choose the sciences? It was not a choice. On the day we had to register our subjects, I simply stared at the screen and it took my less than 5 seconds to click for BCME. I seriously have no idea why I made that decision. Some people already made their decisions long before JC1 started. For me, I never gave it much thought or any thought for that matter. At that time, it didn’t seem important to me. I never considered the consequences of the action. It came by and passed me by as an ordinary decision – like that of drinking pepsi or cola. Now, as the reality sinks in, I regret my decision. I wish I could veto it (like how US vetoes stuff) or turn back time or extend the hours of the day (like Hermoine’s cool time turner gadget).

Thirdly, taking H3 econs is no easy task. At times, I feel unworthy of being a H3 student. I do have the passion for econs. I enjoy the topics I’m learning. I want a career in econs. But, my passion doesn’t translate into solid work – readings, proper research, looking up on statistics, reading the economist (hah). I want them to materialize. Yet, I’m a number 1 procrastinator. Maybe it’s because I prioritize other things above econs. For example, I love watching movies. Nowadays, my movie routine has been disrupted for many reasons. Basically, I love watching sad movies, poignant, moving, heartrending love stories that send a chill up your spine, to your throat and your brain. I love Victorian period movies – pride and prejudice, emma, the forsyte saga to name a few. YES, I am a romantic. As you can see, other hobbies are top of the agenda. The rest fall below.

Fourthly, friendships are hard to juggle. It’s good to talk things over once in a while with each other about relationships. Considering the events that have just occurred, it has dawned on me that life can be really complicated at times. Trying to maintain platonic friendships and yet trying to avoid offending the other party are certainly difficult tasks to handle. For now, I’m just dealing with whatever comes. Anyway, it’s an uncanny coincidence! Justin Har is in my tuition class? We seem to always bump into each other?! Hah.

Only the songs in my player that genuinely reflect my thoughts are those that I actually listen to. Other than that, they’re just mere noises to accompany me on the train, bus and books.

2008-06-12T19:04:00.000+08:00

I don’t care who sees. I don’t care who tells who. It’s perplexing. I don’t care if u are zzz-hello-me (the three in one) or you are all simply individual coward beings. If u wanna make a comment, leave a name for goodness sake. What’s the point of ranting without basis and without an identity? At least if u have some criticism, execute it well and I might applaud u for your courage and constructiveness. However, that’s just a might. Usually, your comments leave me unfazed. It’s amusing though. At least, you give me a topic to blog about or a mere topic for discussion among friends. Other than that, you’re just a tag - insignificant and worthless. Judging by the tags, u must be a girl (or girls) to dwell in such petty matters.

Aside from such unimportant matters, yesterday was a blast.

We played ij again. It was a fine game. Not good. Not bad. (4-2).

Floorball Party @Sam’s house cum mr tong’s farewell.

Mr Tong did not turn up though. However, especially exciting was the foosball match between ip girls and mainstream girls, and later mainstream guys. We ended each match as though we had just played a real floorball match, all high, perspiring and tired. Pris, Zhen and I also took pictures in between because we had no interest in playing hide and seek. Coach was supposed to help us take pictures but in the end, he also wanted to join in the fun of taking timer photos. It was really fun because we had 2 cameras and had to look into both cameras simultaneously!

There was food galore! Sueping’s brownies. Mer’s and jenna’s chicken wings. Fried rice. Drinks. Agar agar. Nuggets. Seaweed chicken. Onion rings. Sausages (which some random guy stole from our party). Hangman was hilarious. In particular, ‘follow the blade’. ‘ollo’ was already so obvious but coach was still kinda clueless. Hah.

I reached home at around 11.30. Thankfully, Gary walked me home because the road was dark and full of possibilities. Thanks Gary!

2008-06-10T18:57:00.000+08:00

The past 2 weeks have been undeniably and unsurprisingly tiring. Floorball trainings have taken everyday of the week except Wednesday and Sunday. Very soon, we’ll be on full gear and trainings are gonna be a helluva more exhausting (but fulfilling, I must emphasize). These days, NTU is like our second home. I forsee ACS Barker will be our new one soon. For me, the past week has been floorball, lunch, SATs, floorball, dinner, SATs continuously. That’s bound to change, now that I’ve finally tackled my SATs this Saturday.

Aristal was a splendid night. The choreographies were amazing though I admit some were just plain weird. More precisely, it was splendid because of these wonderful people :)

Friendly with VJC (2 June)

4-3. We played 4 periods. The usual would be 3 periods. If that had been the case, it would have been 3-0. A clean win for us. Thankfully, in the last shift, Huizhen made an awesome wrist pass to my blade such that I could get a direct shot at the goal, away from the goalie. These are the kinda shots we are aiming for, assisting one another with, and carefully perfecting them time after time. The awful reality is that there isn’t much time left to keep learning. By now, we should be already rooted in the basics of the game.

PSC Test (3 June)

For 4 hours, my legs were cramped and numb, my hands were shivering, my mind was screaming and my stomach was growling so annoyingly. Still, patterns are fun and stimulating!

CDAC camp (2 to 4 June)

Some kids were adorable but some were exceptionally irritating. Thank goodness my patience had set in or my fury would have simply translated into a punch in the face.

SAT Reasoning Test (7 June)

I reason that I need not visit the Artic or Antartica to know how cold it would be cus I already have. I dare say the aircon was gusting below 12 degrees. My entire body was frozen. Now, I truly appreciate the wonders of a jacket. There I was, in the middle of the badminton hall, shivering like a mouse, trying desperately to shade my OAS sheet but my hands refused to move any faster. The constant patter of the rain on the tin roof of the hall kept distracting me from my thoughts. Time’s up. I prepared to make a quick dash for the door. Damn it. The invigilators spent 20 mins consolidating the papers. Once out of the hall, I heaved a sigh of relief from the cold and the anxiety. My skin was still as cold as that of a reptile though.

CIP at Gracehaven (9 June)

It was splendidly tiring. The company was splendid while the painting job was tiring. I have so far inhaled 47493576321 toxic substances. I met the same boy who wanted to kill me with a floorball stick last session. Only this time round, he wanted to kill gimlim and me with a basketball.

Lastly, I just wanted to mention the trio – Gary, Kinphang, Louis. They are unbelievably funny, simple and incredible friends. Gary is the guy who is obsessed with his hair. Even on court, he would unconsciously sweep, flick or meddle with his hair. Kinphang is the gangster wannabe. He walks with his shoulders crouched over, his strides are wide and apart, and waves his stick in one hand. Louis is a shaggy dog. A tall and fast shaggy dog. Everytime I talk to him, I have to lift my neck up really high while he cranes his. Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOUIS!

2008-05-31T19:30:00.000+08:00

Though the holidays are bound to slip away faster than I will ever realise, I do not regret, for a single moment, spending them with the floorballers.

Moments to remember:

2008-05-26T18:55:00.000+08:00

The two grueling weeks spent on mugging for Common Tests certainly deserves me a break. You cannot imagine how elated I am. The moment the clock reached 4.42pm on Friday, my mind had already spontaneously switched to ‘play’ mode. I hardly checked through my h3 econs paper. The last three minutes were spent in agony, hoping time would past faster, thinking about the immense fun I would be having with the floorballers. I am truly grateful that they waited till 4.45pm for our test to end. Meanwhile, they kept themselves occupied by playing hide and seek and constantly amused themselves. We had an awesome time at raffles place! It’s the first time the floorballers ever went out as a group. On Saturday, I met William at the Esplanade and he thought I was going to the library to mug… Omgosh, what’s wrong with you, man? I had barely been liberated from Common Tests 24 hours ago and you expect me to be studying?!?! HELLO?! Don’t you know how much the holidays mean to Aretha?
I foresee that for more than half of this month, I’ll be spending my time with the floorballers. The other half of the time will be preparing for A levels. That leaves me with just a lil’ amount of time to myself. Unlike previous holidays where I had all the time in my hands to watch movies, draw, play games, go out etc, this holiday is going to be entirely different. It’s time to buck up. It’s time to chuck the trivial matters aside. It’s time to stop petty arguments and silly infatuations. It’s time to have confidence in doing well for nationals. It’s time to start being Aretha. Life is so unpredictable (cliché sentence I know). Teresa was telling me how she thinks that life is just an intersection of choices. I couldn’t agree more. Everyone’s decision ultimately affects ours. We might think our choices are separate from one another, that we have autonomy over our lives. I beg to differ. Our actions affect people in varying degrees, and likewise, theirs affect ours too. Often, we tell ourselves, if only this hadn’t happen, then….blah blah blah. But why are we so concerned over how things should turn out? I truly believe we are not given the authority to judge how things should or should not be. We can only work towards making things happen and if they don’t, then that’s life. Our life has been paved such that there are situations and instances that make us grow, that make us better people. Today, the floorball girls exchanged horror movies like ‘A Tale of Two Sisters’, ‘Dark Water’, ‘The Others’ and ‘The Exorcism of Emily Rose’. Most of us were cringing while Mer and Pris continued telling their stories so animatedly. I hate watching horror movies. I enjoy scary-psychoey-murdery-mysterious-unexplained thrillers, but definitely nothing associated with the supernatural. Sometimes, I marvel at how paranormal investigators actually desire to seek for the fourth-dimension while others are desperately trying to avoid any contact with the unexplained world. Anyway, last night, I watched 12 episodes of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. back to back. I laughed till my stomach hurt. It was so comical, I tell you.

Anyway, I can’t believe American Idol is over. I’m so disappointed with the results. I was rooting for David Archuleta and I was so confident that it was a knock-out. C’mon America, how could you not vote for the sweet mama’s boy and his melodious, swooning, all-star voice? He amazed the crowds with his take on Imagine by John Lennon.

Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too I
magine all the people
Living life in peace

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world

You still have my vote, David Archie.

My dream will always be a house by the lake. The rustling of the willows and casuarinas. The placid water. The still and tranquil atmosphere as though time has stopped for you to enjoy the beauty of nature, to treasure life as it is. No competition. No masquerade. No urgency. Simply just you and the world in perfect harmony.

2008-05-20T18:54:00.000+08:00

Jubilation! I’ve conquered Bio! 2 more papers left.

Often, when things do not go our way, we blame it on the archaic cosmological notion called fate. Or when things turn out seemingly well, we attribute it to fate, as though we rightfully deserved it in the first place. I’d like to think there is no such thing. Things happen for a reason. People make it happen. There is no such thing as a windfall or a being cursed with seven years of bad luck. Things turn out the way they are because of our actions. You do well only because you have put your best foot forward. Your friends love you only because you love them back. Life treats you well only because you been a good person.

Do u believe in fate?

Play just keeps playing on and on….

I won’t make the same mistake. I’m so to blame.

2008-05-17T18:53:00.000+08:00

I stared listlessly at the ceiling of the hall when the time was up. I didn’t even realize my paper had been collected. I felt like I was a cation in a sea of delocalised electrons (as in I was surrounded by so many people, too much chem makes me blog like that). Studying seems so futile. I can’t believe my organic chem knowledge wasn’t helpful in solving that one and only miserable organic chem question. So when I reached home, I slept 5 hours straight, woke up at 6.30pm. Went shopping with my mum till 11pm. I didn’t start on Bio at all. Retail therapy cheered me up. Hence, today, I was all recharged for studying Bio. Actually, it’s been easy studying Bio. I thought I wouldn’t be able to remember past chapters. However, it’s a breeze so far. But I recognise studying and taking the exam are of entirely different natures. Often, I end up doing really badly. I hate this knowledge of getting poor results. Besides, H3 econs isn’t making it better. I’m just gonna crap my way. Time’s running out, especially now SOME people wanna shift forward the date of the test. Moreover, Bio SPA is way important.

Wish me luck for everything I have yet to conquer. I can’t wait to touch my floorball stick. The feel, the grip, the friends. Wish time would pass faster, yet I wish otherwise.

So glad the tension and awkwardness are gone, that u understand what it means to be a real friend after all. And i can only thank u.

2008-05-03T18:53:00.000+08:00

NJ-MI friendly. 10-3. Yes. That’s the score. Get your facts straight before you unleash your spite and doubt. The victory’s ours to savour. So don’t stick your nose in thinking you can humiliate us. So u don’t believe that floorball girls have the ability, the determination, the essence of a true sport? Please check yourself in the mirror.

The win and the goals are not important. Everyone who contributed to the game deserves praise. We totally owned the court yesterday with our determination, skill and teamwork. Though the forwards we dead tired trying to score, we managed to contain the opponents and relieved the defenders’ burden. All I believe is that we have a true chemistry as a team and that we will go far this time round. So gear up.

A truly wonderful film! I used my free movie voucher from the cyber wellness quiz. It’s amazing how royalty’s life can be so complicated, their mind so twisted and their motives so vicious. The finale of the beheading of the queen was absolutely unanticipated. Nevertheless, she deserved it. Her brother’s death was so unjustified. That’s history.

2008-04-26T18:51:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GARY!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NUT!

It’s been an eventful week. Last Saturday, we had Chem SPA. So Chem’s tackled. Next in line is Bio SPA which happens to fall during our common test period AND on the same day as H3 Econs! No…..

Yesterday. 2 tests. Econs. Math. Consecutively. I wished my brain cells were working beTter for Econs. Talking about Econs, I just feel like slapping Jason. Now we have an extra burden to handle in the June Holidays: calculate the G using the Gravitational Model for 30 to 60 countries in groups of maximum 5 people. Thanks Jason, thanks. Our tentative group consists of 7 people. Who cares? It’s not like this project is gonna give me a grade. William and I were saying we should just tell Mr Lee, “Yeah, in groups of 7 right? Isn’t that what you said???”

I feel like sawing off my leg. My shin splint and ankle sprain is reinforcing one another. Sometimes, an excruciating pain just comes and goes. It’s so erratic and uncomfortable. My sprints are getting lousier. My legs just refuse to carry me with the wind. I want to saw off my leg. Someone help me?

Am I two persons in one? There are days I feel so happy about life, school, friends, the world. Then there are some when I just feel like burning up the world for being so fixated on material wealth, on superficial things, on contrived friendships. And that is when my mood really starts to swing.

Mer and her ookshop cca. Huizhen and her 74. Bingxin and her silly statements. Pris and her crazy ideas. I love floorball.

I know when u look. But u don’t know I know.

A Series of Unfortunate and Fortunate Events

2008-04-18T18:49:00.000+08:00

Now the bad stuff….

First, We lost 7-2 to Ngee Ann Poly yesterday. Yes that certainly calls for improvement. So glad the soccer guys won TJC.

Second, I have shin spleen on both legs. It must be the Ngee Ann Poly slippery court floor that made me skid around like an Eskimo.

Now the good stuff…

First of all, we trashed RJ 4-1 last Wednesday. But we shouldn’t get our hopes high cus they played half of the juniors and half of the seniors. Nevertheless, it still says something about us. We improved. There’s still room for more improvement and I think we can all go far if we put in our best effort for every training.

Second, I got an A for Project Work. Thank goodness our efforts weren’t in vain. I think I should really applaud my group members. We started off real shaky, only deciding on doing Entertainment as our topic in April and hardly meeting up in between to discuss. Most of our communication was through MSN and we nothing really materialized till late August. Congrats y’all!

Third, I’m gonna get a gold for NAPFA!

Fourth, the H3 econs test has been cancelled. YAY! I’m jumping for joy. I think huizhen and I are H3 noobs. We didn’t even know the test was supposed to be this week.

Fifth, there is a group of enthusiastic boys (trackers) who wanna continue the R-CUBE legacy. Alright man. It’s because of us. Hah.

Please stop this elaborate charade of feigned friendship. The motives. The lies. They’re so telling.

My current favourite songs are playing. The Click Five songs are amazing but the band itself isn't very appealing.

You make me smile. I don’t care who tells who.

2008-04-04T18:48:00.000+08:00

I conquered my 2.4km component, clocked in my best timing of 12.04min and I’m really satisfied. Today’s training was productive and fun. I treasure the times spent with my fellow floorballers. Whether it is bonding sessions or tiring trainings, spending it with a merry, fun-loving group of people, is worth your time. So we have our CHICKY times, our weirdo times, our gossiping times, our guy discussion times. Every precious bit of conversation is etched in my mind and is there to stay for eternity. Floorball keeps me going. Without it, it’s like having no engine to gear up. I can’t do my work unless I’m occupied with something else. My school life would feel meaningless, muggerish, and monotonous unless I had a sport to keep up my adrenaline on things. It’s only when I ponder about such matters that I realize once my JC life is over, that engine would be gone.

We’re gonna start our lives afresh. The girls and their beauty consciousness, the guys and their bald heads, and I will be walking down nothingville. How’s life treating you? They ask. The answer is I don’t know.

I don’t know if I’ll be able to make it on my own, face the world alone, guarding my own fears. I don’t know if I will be as determine as I am now, ready to take on challenges, proving to myself that I am superwoman. I don’t know where I’ll be 10 years down the road. I don’t know if you would be there for me.

Honestly, there are a thousand things on my list of what I desire to do.
1) Be a CSI investigator. Tracing DNA, blood, tissues and solving mysterious crimes.
2) Be a Hollywood actress. Everyone wants to taste some fame but not drugs.
3) Be a gourmet chef. What can be tastier than your own food.
4) Be an American Idol judge. Who says I can’t wear tight fitting black tees?
5) Be a singer and songwriter. Free-style is what I like.
6) Be a humanitarian. Nothing beats showing your love to the less fortunate.

HEY AMBITIOUS. Don’t dream so hard. My greatest wish is to fulfill the 6th goal.

I saw Shuming at Bugis. He was damn funny. He went ‘AAR- REE- TAR!’. I lifted my head up in total shock. Hee.

2008-03-27T18:44:00.000+08:00

FLOORBALLAHOLIC! Hee hee. So fun to say it! I tried saying it many times over and got really confused after a while.

There are 4 funny conversations that happened during intra-school floorball that I remember so vividly.

Jun Long: I want a doughnut
Me: Okay, I take for u ah.
Jun Long: Okay.
Me: As in I use my hands.
Jun Long: Oh. Erm, you washed your hands already?
Me: Yeah… (very matter of factly tone)
Jun Long: Okay, I believe u.
Me: looks at hand I finds that there are black rubber bits from the field on my hand. Calmly puts hand behind back as Jun Long takes out his money to pay, hoping he didn’t see a thing.
Me: Justin, do you wanna buy a doughnut? Buy la, buy la.
Justin: Walks towards huizhen and I. Kelly follows behind. Don’t want.
Kelly: Wo yao. Got what flavours?
Huizhen and I: Oh there’s chocolate and banana, cinnamon… strawberry. The chocolate and banana is very nice. People say its nice to eat. You want?
Kelly: Wo yao na ge strawberry de. Points and smiles.
Me: Holds on to box of strawberry with lid open. Laughs uncontrollably and fails miserably to hide laughter.
Kelly: How much?
Huizhen: One fifty.
Me: Okay, take a plastic bag and choose which one you want.
Kelly: Picks at stack of plastic bags about 5 times before managing to finally pick one out.
Me: Laughs uncontrollably again.
Kelly: Chooses doughnut.
Me: You will smudge the cream if you put it in a plastic bag.
Kelly: Nehmind.

Xianhui: Walks into floorball court breathless. 1 kg of sugar!
Mer: Huh?
Me: He said ‘1 kg of sugar’. There’s a team called ‘1 kg of sugar’.
Mer: OH MY GOD! I wondered what he was talking about. I thought he said after he played floorball, it feels as if he lost 1 kg of sugar.
Me: WHAT?!
Both of us: Laugh non-stop.

Me: Hey, why are you all leaving already? We still have lots of benches to carry you know? Samuel: Cus we have to follow the juniors to buy sticks.
Me: Oh. Eeyer, then make us girls carry everything ah?
Samuel: Oh sorry la. Samuel, Sukiat and some other guys and I walk down the canteen stairs and realize the juniors are already leaving towards to main gate.
Samuel: They are lefting already?
Me: What? Oh my goodness. They are leaving la!
Sukiat: We are righting.

It was such an ironic scenario yesterday. The seniors and juniors were trying to play basketball yesterday. Meanwhile, on the other side of the court, basketballers were trying to play floorball. Notice I said trying. Hahaha.

Sometimes, things are so complicated, absurd, unimaginable. Hi Play.

Sometimes, you give me the knowing look. Hi Know.

Sometimes, I’d rather be on my own. Hi World.

2008-03-22T18:41:00.000+08:00

I don’t believe that there is anyone else who could be more unfortunate than me this week. (Okay, don’t take it literally. I do understand that people in the world are dying, starving and so on.)

Before I begin, HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUIZHEN!

Alright, for one, I did extremely badly for math test and I absolutely dread receiving my results because it’ll trigger the whole disappointed-in-myself cycle again. To think I practiced so hard for integration and totally got the whole concept, only to be unable to attempt the question due to the lack of time! RAH! I didn’t even finish reading the differential equations question and was practically writing some workings on the paper while reading it. I think it was total crap. I am total crap.

Second, Wednesday’s training caused me 2 grazes, a strained shoulder and 20 seconds of uncontrolled breathing. I cried because I thought I was going to die. No no, I was just scared that something might happen to me. But I felt so much better after crying and my breathing returned to normal. Phew!

Third, the fact is I am total crap again. Got a miserable 2 upon 17 for my econs essay test. I felt like crying at first. But what the heck, its just a test. Not A Levels. Therefore, not worth my tears. Besides, I don’t think I’ll be switching classes. Heh heh.

Fourth, my computer switched off by itself as I was doing my Econs Seminar Topic. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs but it was way past midnight and I definitely had no intention of waking up the neighbourhood. So I let out a silent scream in my head as I switched the computer back on. Thank goodness, the documents were recovered. I was pleasantly relieved. So so so so relieved. Well, that isn’t an unfortunate event but could almost qualify as one if otherwise had happened.

Fifth, you are such a weird person. Okay, this isn’t unfortunate. It’s just strange. You stare and stare non-stop. Like you are curious about something, I have no idea?! You talk to me so normally like nothing happened, like we’re good friends or something. And now, you just go back to staring. Huh? What’s going on? It’s not like I didn’t take the initiative to talk to you or smile at you that day. I did. And I do think you can be a nice person. I don’t mind being friends if only you can be as cordial as that day. And by that, I mean not staring anymore. Cus that is just strange. I’m seriously confused.

So my week has been pretty awful. But nothing beats winning a free movie ticket. Cyber wellness questions are cool. They entitle you to win tickets. NJC librarians are cool too! They tell you the answer. Whee! (pls refer to huizhen’s blog for pic of movie ticket. Haha.)

I am on a chocolate binge.

2008-03-08T16:00:00.000+08:00

Check out my 2 all time favourite songs by Boyzone. I feel like I'm no longer a teeny bopper. I miss being one. I remember how I used to be so crazy over Blue, Lee Ryan, Westlife, Boyzone, Michael Learns to Rock, Spice Girls, Jesse Mccartney and the list never ends. I guess there's a phase when we look at these singers with such admiration, hoping that we weill be able to know them personally. I love boybands. Their voices touch your heart. It gives you this resonance, this peace with the world, this bright outlook of life. Those were the days. Nostalgia all over again.

There are times I feel so bored of life, especially a routine life in this crucial A levels year. All I can think about is doing well for and scoring straight As. The thing is, that takes a lot of hard work and determination. Everything in life requires such. Be it building relationships, academic goals or even a simple game of floorball. We have to drill our minds with perseverance, the hunger to snatch the ball, the hunger for accurate and precise shots and most of all… the hunger to win.

I should count myself blessed. Blessed with wonderful classmates (nut, gimlim, john, ybee, biq, gen) that you can joke with, laugh with, eat with, poke at, snigger at, step on, make fun of (you get the idea).

Blessed with fantastic and funny floorball girl friends that you can go totally crazy with, ease you mind with, play floorball with, go through tiring endless trainings with, feel the ups and downs of a sportsperson with and feel the adrenaline for competition with.

Blessed with amazing and quirky floorball guy friends like (gary, louis, kinphang, trent) that you can always rely on and totally has your back, allows you to listen in to their conversations, always picks up balls for you, filled with humility and contentment and are hardworking model students for you to follow.

Blessed with great H3 classmates (huizhen, ybee, wilbert, jason, shufang) that you can complain about the workload with, complain about the lack of time to ruch essays, crack our heads over concepts with and of course discuss econs stuff with. I wish cat had stayed on. That'll be one more person i can place my burdens on. Heh.

I feel like jumping around. I guess I’m just drowning in the ecstasy of the March holidays that is only a week long and hoping it’ll last for ever. I don’t ever want this feeling to go away. This is our last chance to enjoy before we zoom full-throttle to tackle the A levels together. BUT, WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER! We started out together; we’ll end it together. I miss that one-and-only incredible, marvelous, splendid, mind-blowing dance night. It’ll be something that I’ll treasure forever and ever (so cliché, but so true) cus it was a time when our lives were so uncomplicated, free from talk and full of surprises. I can’t wait for a day like that again.

Today's NTU-MOE Econs Seminar was quite good. The food in the second break was yummy. Eclairs! Poor Shufang was sniffling throughout and she felt really sleepy from the medicine i think. Most of the time was spent eating sweets and moaning and groaning about the uncomfortable chairs.

I am dying for floorball camp! (needless to say)I love floorball, heart and soul, absolutely.I love econs, mind and thoughts, completely.I love sad movies, tears and joy, entirely.I love my friends, strongly and wildly, totally.

2008-03-06T02:00:00.000+08:00

Blogging on a blue slip

These 3 days, I’ve been in school for a mere 3 hours each. I’ve realized staying at home leaves you with lotsa time in your hands. But being my usual self, I always fail to treasure free time and end up dazing or dozing off. Murphy’s Law. I never knew stomach flu was such a nuisance. Now, I’ll have to rest well and hopefully wake up with sufficient time to mug both bio and econs or I can just forget about passing both tests. 18 years… yet I still have not found the slightest feeling of accomplishment in my life. I think this is what life is for me. I can never feel contented. Enough is never enough. We tell ourselves that this is all that we need. Lovers tell each other that they one another’s everything. Friends promise they’ll stand by one another through the joy and the pain. Is this ever true? Seems like old friendships are bound to wither while new ones blossom. I wish I could play with all my friends like there’s no tomorrow, that friendships will be treasured till eternity.