The holidays have unfortunately come to an abrupt end before I could accomplish anything substantial. The day is too short, period. I haven’t done my homework. (except for a few miserable hypothesis testing questions and chem questions that are mostly left blank). I haven’t done what I had planned to do: sketch the ideas that frequently occupy in my mind, arrange my cupboard (yes, everything’s simply piled and chucked aside only to be discovered eons later), read my TIME mags, listen to my old cds. Basically, I haven’t relaxed.
Everyday, I reach home, physically drained, unmotivated to study. When I sleep, floorball’s mostly on my mind. I dream about gameplay, running after the ball, protecting the ball, getting ready to shoot, calling defenders by the boards. On Thursday morning, I dreamt about training at acs barker when I have not even gone for training. It was about 4am when I woke up from my dream and there I was, lying in bed, feeling all sweaty as though I had an exhausting session. Anyway, I thoroughly enjoy my baths and sleeping time, mostly because that’s when I’m alone with my thoughts and when I feel revitalized.
I tried playing ‘who has the biggest brain’ on Facebook today. I wanted to beat Jianhong’s score. Hahaha. It was impossible. I simply remained stagnant at the same scores. It’s so absurd that Jianhong was in my primary 3 and 4 class. I’ve tried my best to recall him but nothing comes out of it. I only remember having fun with Mer, influencing her to do naughty things, getting her to hate Chinese, climbing fences and bullying teachers. That sounds so unlike me, I know. But they were surely fun times. And now, being with Mer again just makes me feel so lucky. Anyway, I tried playing ‘Scramble’ on Facebook. It’s like a mutation of ‘Scrabble’ and ‘Boggle’. I accepted William’s challenge, thinking it would a breeze for me. But, I ended up playing so noobishly, scoring a miserable 8 points for one of the rounds while he scored 31? Uurghhhh. It wasn’t as though it was a beginner’s uncertainty of the game. I was given 5 chances. FIVE! And I kept losing all 5 rounds (though I played better in the last round scoring 30, but he topped it with 50 :( ). But i plan to challenge Trent and see how it goes. I shall find my niche game and do well in it. For now, I shall just admit I’m a loser in such intellectual games.
This week has been strange. I’ve felt so many different emotions and I’m trying to sort them out. Sometimes, I get tired doing so, turning my heart to steel seems like the best option. There are so many things plaguing my mind. U know how I felt, yet u still do it, over and over. I’m turning my back, once again.
I love talking to u too, I just realized.
